Posted by: Mr.EX | 2007/03/15

Ex boyfriend and Cybersex

Hi Forum
This is a very long story, but I will give you the short version.
My ex bf moved to a different province 2 years ago. He is involved with another guy, but still msg me and we have cybersex on mxit late at night when his bf is asleep. They sleep in different bedrooms. I am still single. When he visits alone, we go out for drinks and clubbing.
I feel this is cheating on his bf, but still have feelings for him. I would not want my bf to do that to me one day and know it's wrong, but do not know how to break contact with him. He is actually a very quiet and sincere person. He says he does not have cybersex with anyone else. What should I do. Please any advice would be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Mr.EX, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting here.

I assume your relationship with your ex boyfriend ended two years ago? Which means that both of you have had more than ample time to resolve your issues related to loss, dependence and seperation.

Besides this possibly being dysfunctional for you in that it feeds a level of emotional dependence and keeps you from moving on and forming new and more functional relationships, you're a partner in his cheating on his current boyfriend. If it wasn't cheating, what stops him from telling his boyfriend the truth about what's going on?

Wouldn't you rather have a meaningful relationship which isn't based on someone jerking off behind his partner's back? Come on - you sound as though you deserve far better and far more than this.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nikki | 2007/03/15

Hi Mr. EX, thanks for posting here ;)

Why is he your ex? Because he moved to another town?

He clearly doesn’t have the same feelings for you then you have for him. Why the b/f then and not sleeping in the same room? OK, sure you only believe that because you want to believe it, I mean really? :(

Breaking up is done, he is your EX. Breaking contact is easy, just use the same reasoning you just posted above here.

Before you can do that however, you need to move on and before you can move on, you need to determine if there is any hope he will come back to you. This is not about him, but about you putting him out of your life and moving on. To act on the correct information you need to communicate with him. Cybersex is avoiding the issues so next time, avoid cybersex and address the issues and if there is no resolution, TELL him and move on.


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