Posted by: Anon | 2011/06/29


My ex-boyfriend and i broke up 4 years ago when he cheated on me and chose the other women. We recently started dating again after the 4 year break and i asked him yesterday if he loves me. His answer was NO. I was so shocked, but somehow i got the had an inclination that this my be the case. When i asked why he came back he told me for the sake of his daughter (our daughter is 5). He seems to think that while he hovers around me i wont date someone else because he doesnt want his child growing up with another man as her father. I told him in no uncertain terms that when he chose to break up with me and break up our family he gave up that right. I told him that no matter who I marry he will always be our daughters father but the person that i do marry will live in the same house with us and its obvious that they (daughter and future husband) will have a relationship. He didnt like this. I have not spoken to him since he told me that he didnt love me because i dont see the reason for us to continue a relationship with no feelings involved. What do i do from here? I would have to eventually talk to him about our daughter as she is currently on holiday at his place.

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Our expert says:
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I can't imagine why you bothered to take this guy back, or why you would even for a moment think of remaining with a guy who admits he doesn't love you at all. Push him out to care for the only one he really loves, himself. but make sure that a maintenance court compels him to pay properly for the care of his daughter. Whether or not you choose to have other friends, male or female, after him, is none of his business. He MIGHt be able to persuade a court to give hom some right to VISIT and see the child, but he has no right whatsoever to insist that you must live along so that the child won't see other and better men - does he fear that she will discover how real men treat their parners and children ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Charly | 2011/06/29

You have done the right thing, do not take him back for his reasons, you did fine for the past 4 years so why have your heart broken again, my husband knew when he married me also became dad to my daughter and they got on fine and in fact he had been a better father to her than her own father, so please don''t have a relationship with him again, if he is a good father pf course he has his rights, but with no love how can the two of you have a future, you deserve better, good luck! I am not a professional, just a mom!

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