Our expert says:
Sounds like the sort of nauseatingly cocky little kid who is still at the infantile stage of thinking he knows everything, and hasn't managed to achieve the wisdom or recognizing all that he doesn't know. She should absolutely and forever refuse to provide him with money --- isn't the cheek breathtaking that he announces that whatever he chooses to do, however self-destructive, is "his affairs" --- but he expects other people to pay for them ? She needs to make it absolutely clear ( and stick to it ) that his behaviour is totally unacceptable, and that if he ever expects to visit and stay in her house, he must live to her standards and rules --- exactly as, if he stayed in a hotel, even though then he would be paying for the privilege, he'd be thrown out if he misbehaved and broke their rules. If he threatens her, or his sibs, or damages anything in the house, she should again call the police and lay charges against him --- even a brief experience of prison may help him to recognize that his seleced way of life, selfish and destructive, is unacceptable, and leads to consequences he won't like.
Of course it's hard for a mother to manage to do that, but indulging him is only encouraging him to get worse and worse. At least in the criminal justice system, profoundly flawed though it is, he has some chance of having to see a probation officer or similar person who he might actually listen to, if it was a condition for avoiding even worse consequences.
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