Posted by: Celia | 2008/10/19

Eplain this please

I found out today that my ex has a new gf. I broke up with him a year and a half ago after a 3 year relationship. It wasn' t a good relationship at all and an even worse break up but for some reason the news has shaken me. Why? I' ve been over him for a long time and was immensely relieved when I got out of the unhealthy situation I was in with him. Can' t really explain in what way it' s shaken me. Maybe ignorantly I thought he was too bad to ever find someone again? I know that' s mean to say but there you have it. I' m in a very happy and successful relationship myself so I don' t know why this is even registering on my emotions scale. Any explanations?

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Our expert says:
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If he is an Ex, why should you be bothered about any new relationship of his ? Clearly, you are not as thoroughly "over him " as you thought, but you will be if you let go. Maybe this relationship will go well for him, maybe not. Either way, you need not pay attention to it

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Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2008/10/20

Maybe you had high hopes for the relationship when it was going good and you really loved him

Also it pains you to realise that he is in another relationship and maybe could make a success of it and the regret and anger that this could have been achieved in the relationship when you were with him

Finally there is a part of him that you love and appeals to you and you are frustrated that maybe that person whom he is now in a relationship with will get that part that you didnt

Wish him well, let him go and set yourself free, dont harbour ill thoughts .... everything that has happened is in the past .... its time for building new relationships, learning from the lessons and not making mistakes from the past.

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