Our expert says:
From the sound of it, you have managed marvellously well in dificult circumstances, to start making a real success of your work life / career, and are on the way to still better things. OK, in the social sphere, things could be a lot better, but that's not inevitable or unchangeable. It's sad that you lost your best friend ( suicides often forget the awful impac their act is likely to have on others ) and you are probably still dealing with your grief over that, as well as the other burdens you have been facing.
But what is wrong with this guy you've been with lately ? Breaking up with you 18 times in February ( just as well it wasn't a leap year ? ) must be a record. And your asking him to come back, 18 times, as well ? It really doesn't sound as if he deserves you, and he can hardly be our last chance of a happy relationship. It sounds as if he has been abusive, emotionally and physically --- and abusers ( unless, rarely, they enthusiastically embrace serious therapy to change themselves ) do not change. You are surely much better off without him. You can be far, far, more lonely within a relationship with an abusive spouse than when actually on your own.
It sounds as if you'd be happier without him, looking after yourself and your affairs, and maybe working first towards enlarging your circle of true friends, people who can have pleasant times with, and with whom you can discus issues, without feeling pressured. Take your time to find a guy who is not abusive, and who keeps his promises about love. You're obviously worth far more than this present guy.
Don't be losing your mind --- lose the abuser, and keep your mind.
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