Our expert says:
You know extra-marital affairs are a really bad idea, so you are wise to decide to end it. But if you are to still see each other regularly, in what way are you "ending" it ? Unrequited love is sad, and indeed happens, but isn't grounds for a basically dishonest affair based on cheating. The prior relationship should be ended, as kindly as possible, before on is free to start another.
You last sentence summarises it well. Tell him, calml and kindly, and part, and remember each other fondly, as we all think back on great opportunities we once missed
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