Posted by: Angel | 2004/11/11

End of Marraige

Me and my husband has been together for almost ten years now and has a lovely 7 year old daughter. Up till about 3 months ago we have not had real bad problems between us. Then 3 months ago we start fighting about the smallest stuff. But it is only fighting, nothing serious. Then he admits to me he is very depressed and not happy with his life and all kind of other stuff and he going threw something like a mid life crises and he as person is changing. Everything is fine, nothing serious. Then a week ago he just comes to me out of the blue and tells me he wants a divorce, just like that. It was a huge shock for me, and I don't know what to do. He said he doesn't love me anymore and has no feeling for me. At some stage he did feel something, but for the past few years he felt nothing. I really love this man, and don't want to loose him, but I don't know what to do. Everybody tells me it is a fase and I must give it time. But I don't know how and what to do. If I let him go, I'm not sure he will come back. How can you just give up on someone. Everyone makes mistakes in life, and I made a few, but he says I have had all these years to make things right but I just screwed it up, he doesn't want to give me another chance. No everyday I must hear we are getting a divorce and he is going to move ou and he is really mean to me. But still he wants sex. One day it is fine to have sex and the next it is wrong. What must I do? I do not want to loose this man for the rest of mylife!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A, sounds like he has been heading into personal psych problems, maybe depression plus other issues, and he needs to see a good local psychiatrist for a proper assessment and treatment advice ( I can't say that often enough, can I ? ) You need to strognly encourage him to see the right specialist and talk through this mess he seems to be getting into, and not to make any permanent or major decisions until he has worked with a shrink to sort out the mess.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Angel | 2004/11/24

Thanx!! Iknow for sure that it isn't an affair. It seems like he is depressed from something and he thinks he will sort it out by leaving me. He doesn't want to go see anybody, he says there is nothing wrong with him. I just don't know what to do anymore. He got himself a place to stay and is moving on Friday. He also told me last night that he need a gap....what does he mean by that? A gap from me,or is he really so cross with me he is permanently leaving me. I really don't want to loose him and I think I have tried everything already and I dont know what to do anymore. He actually went to see a layer for the divorce. What must I do??

Reply to Angel
Posted by: Q | 2004/11/11

Hi girl, it sounds as if your hubby is going through some or other crises. I hate to say it but it my be an affair!!! It is one of the clasic signs when one of the two partners sudenly change there whays in such a way that nothing is right or as you have described the it my be an affair. bUt let be positive, and its not, go for conseling and may be him at a good phycologist can help!!!!! best of luck en go for it girl because you are spesiaal.

Reply to Q

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