Posted by: R | 2012/12/05

Empty nest

Hi Doc,
It has been 3 days since my baby left for his holiday. For the first time this year time seems to be dragging. Although I still have the baby (who turns 1 TODAY!) to keep me busy, I feel each day slightly more depressed as I miss my older child. I don''t even want to count down the days, I just want him back home.
I am even considering driving to Durban this weekend to fetch him, but I won''t do it. My sister says he asks everyday how many days he will be with them, so I know he''s really happy to be there and I doubt he''s missing me really, which I''m happy about, I don''t want him to have any negative feelings.
I always thought I look forward to the day when they will leave home and live their own lives and I can have mine back, but I realised how ridiculous that is. At least now I know what it would be like, and I am no longer looking forward to that day. Isn''t it strange how they fill up our lives to the max that we have no idea what to do when they are not around. The peace and quite can even become unbearable.

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Our expert says:
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Your message gets a bit confusing, with TWO babies in it ! You don't mention the age of the second "baby" who is temporarily away, but if he's asking questions, he isn't too young, I guess.
A separation is naturally distressing for you ; he has the advantage of being distracted by a new setting and new people, but will be pleased to get back to you in due course. Partyl you're reacting naturall to the separation itself, and maybe to an extent to breaking the daily habits of all the things you did that involved him or were done for him. Probably, as you imply, you'll appreciate each other all the more ater he returns.

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