Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/15


As i've been round for a while, i thought it might be good to have a go at vending all my stress!! Up to 2 weeks ago my husband and his ex wife were still working together. As if not enough, she still use to phone at night bout silly things, she would still buy my husbands family gifts on xmas / birthdays, she just irritated me by trying to hang around.

Then suddenly August she invited my dad to a wedding. Its just all a bit close to home, and i asked my dad not to go. Its like family dating family... It all seemed so sick. My dad was living with us and i told him that she isnt welcome in my house. So he use to go visit her. Then last week my maid tells me that my dad was bringing her into my house every day i'm at work!! My husbands ex wife in MY house, its like invading my privacy.... Had a big fall out with my dad, and we are now not on speaking terms... They have now bought a house together (after a 3 month relationship). I have just found out that they got married on 5 December..... My dad didnt tell anyone...

How much family sh*t can one handle??

I'm sure someone is gonna tell me i'm childish, but hey, if you were in this situation, i bet you wouldnt find it childish at all!! I bet you would feel your world is upside down, and no-one cares....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Mona,
That sounds like an appallingly underhand and cruel thing for your Dad to do, knowing as he must, how much that would hurt you. One could say that as an adult he was free to make his own decisions as to who he befriends --- but that would be so within his own house, not to bring someone he knew you could not abide, into your house, secretly and without your knowledge or permission.
There's nothing whatsoever childish about your feeling outraged and deeply hurt by this dishonest and callous behaviour on his part. It hardly sounds likely that they will have a happy or lasting relationship, but that's now up to them.
I wonder how your husband feels about this ? Surely it should help to end any feelings he might have had left for her, knowing that she has chosen to marry another man after sneaking round your home ? And when next she wants to phone him for advice, can't he know just say "Ask your new husband" ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Melon | 2003/12/18

Mona - Im sorry I dont have any advise for you but I do feel your pain, and you have done well in lasting that long - keep strong and remember like you say ITS YOUR HOUSE!!! However you and your father are going to have to find a way sometime in the next year to sort this out but as the Doc said and other readers "its betrayal" SORRY Hun....

Reply to Melon
Posted by: eve | 2003/12/17

hey mona you have got to be strong you are always the one giving good advice to people maybe its time to give yourself some of that good medicine. as for your dad WHAT BETRAYAL, surely he should of respected your wishes and as for that ex wife what a kanniving bitch she isnt going to stop at nothing to get your husband back. thats just gross and evil wow the world is full of suprises.

Reply to eve
Posted by: Emma. | 2003/12/17

Hey Mona,

Unfortunately I cannot change the situation that you find yourself in right now, but I do care, and I am very sorry that you are hurting....

From Emma.

Reply to Emma.

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