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Question
Posted by: emol | 2007/04/25

Emotional poverty

I have noticed people's helpful, kind and sympathetic answers to all kinds of problems. Can someone pls help?
Please!
Emotions are dismissed as irrelevant and non existent as far as intelligent human beings are concerned. How does one treat someone else who totally denies that human emotion exists?

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Our expert says:
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Presumably you are talking about someone else --- so, for a start, YOu don't treat them at all. And while they are denying the existence of human emotion ( an unlikely position, and not possible to maintain for long --- this guy never ever gets angry or sad or disappointed about anything at all ? ) they won't be going to any professional for any treatment.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Emol | 2007/04/25

Thank you.

Reply to Emol
Posted by: Maria | 2007/04/25

I wish I had an answer for you, but we are going to have to wait for CS on this one...
A psychologist once told me he had a patient who also claimed to have no feelings, so he was planning to start with the physical sensation of feeling, and have the man feel hot water, cold water, different textures and describe it. Don't know if it helped at all.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: emol | 2007/04/25

Maria

I want the other person to give me an inkling about his emotions, and for him to at least acknowledge mine. I think you've hit the nail on the head. Are emotions really so frightening?????? Or is it lack of EQ? And if so, how does one help?
Thank you.

Reply to emol
Posted by: Maria | 2007/04/25

I would translate "Emotions don't exist" into "I'm so scared of my emotions that I'm not taking the slightest chance - not talking about them at all". Do you primarily want to talk about your emotions, or the other person's? Maybe write a letter, it's less confrontational.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: emol | 2007/04/25

Once again thank you for your response.
Some of it makes sense, but I am not one to analize to the nth degree, I do not harp on emotions ad infinitum, I say what I need to say in one single sentence. All I want is a reasonable, sensible discussion as to what is happening. I am aware of a rather strong streak (sense) of selfishness.

Reply to emol
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/04/25

Some people don't share emotions easily. And some people are more emotional than others. The statement emotions don't exist is crazy in my opinion and factually not correct. But a person can be an unemotional person - someone who doesn't respond to situations entirely on emotion, but who thinks things through.

When this person says he doesn't want to talk - there has to be an underlying emotion as to why he/she doesn't want to talk. If there was no emotion regarding this, then there would be no reason not to talk.

Perhaps this person is being selfish and is just avoiding hearing what he/she knows you want to say and thus avoiding having to deal with the situation.

You don't share the circumstances, but the bottom line is, that you obviously do want to talk - why does the other person get his or her way and you just have to live with it? Perhaps you need to express the selfishness of that -

But then again, if you're a person who needs to analyse everything to the nth degree and talk about feelings all the time, it might just be too much for the other person. And this person might just be blocking you off.

It's hard to say exactly what the situation is!~

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: emol | 2007/04/25

Thank you for your response.
This person is ALWAYS full of beans, friendly, loving, never sits still - always doing something in order not to talk. When asked to talk or just starting to talk, the answer is always, "I don't want to talk now. I'm not emotional, emotions don't exist."
I need to talk about things sometimes, not just jabbering away about nothing.

Reply to emol
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/04/25

How can anyone deny that human emotions exist? That's really curious in my opinion. Human emotions can be misleading, and they can play havoc with our minds and cause us to make the wrong decisions at times, but they definitely exist! That's what being human is mostly about.

Maybe you need to give us more details.

Reply to Chelle

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