Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Carl and welcome to our forum.
I'm concerned at the reason you state for cheating on your partner. Your wanting to hurt him and "...feel the pain I have inside..." is disconcerting. It either indicates a) that your relationship is fundamentally flawed (do you somehow feel abused by him, has he caused you emotional pain and if he did, why did you have to resort to such passive-aggressive means to deal with the situation?) or b) your distortion of reality (using your sense of hurt as a justification for your behaviour).
His wanting to go out and repeat your behaviour is an infantile attempt to solve the problem and is equally passive-aggressive.
Handle the situation by entering into a process of couple counselling. If this relationship is as important to you as you say you'll need professional intervention to resolve it.
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