Posted by: Wondered | 2005/07/28

Emotional Blackmail

Who can tell me 'what' exactly does emotional blackmail entail?

Is there a way to note it?
Is it in a subtle?

I'm sure there are so many ways one does not realise it until it's to late......?

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Our expert says:
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Good replies all round, with a good example from purple. Emotional blackmail is when someone manipulates your emotions so as to force you to do what they want you to do

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Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2005/07/29

Its when someone uses emotions to coerce you into doing something. Manipulation is another word for it.

To the person being manipulated its very subtle, to everyone else looking in from the outside its blatantly obvious.

Its often difficult to tell when your buttons are being pressed, but easy to see when someone is pressing someone elses buttons.

An example would be, mother with married son. Son and wife make plans for Easter that involve going away and spending time alone together. they inform his mother two months in advance that they will be away, and remind her that other family members are around. On the night before they are to leave on their holiday, mother phones crying and saying how lonely she is, son didn't spend previous Easter with her, she will miss seeing her grandchild etc, etc. Daugher in Law points out that the situation hasn't come about unexpectedly. Son wants to cancel holiday for poor, lonely mother (who has plans wiht her other children for the weekend anyway!).

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Tigerfish | 2005/07/28

Basically, it is exactly what it says it is, blackmail. The other person does everything they can think of emotionally to make you do what they want you to do. They ensure that if you do not do it, you have a negative (Guilt/anger/sadness etc etc.) emotional experience. Very extreme example: "If you don't love me, I'll kill myself.." They hold your happiness hostage.

Reply to Tigerfish
Posted by: Jane | 2005/07/28

Well said, Lady Nina.
"Wondered", trust your gut. Should you feel deep inside that his/her behaviour grinds in on everything you believe and feel strongly about, its definately emotional abuse. If there's double standards i.e. you do something, say something and he/she objects and give you such a hard time, but yet when he/she does the same and its ok, that too is emotional abuse.

Reply to Jane
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/07/28

hi there

it's when you believe something to be right
yet the person manipulates you into feeling guilty and doubting your own judgements

or something like that ....


Reply to lady nina

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