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Question
Posted by: Accused | 2007/12/06

Emotional abuse

Dear Sir/Mam

I knew my spouse for approximately 3 months before we married. (I know this sounds ridiculous). However at the time I thought that it was a good idea. We are married for approximately 2 years, of which the majority of the time it has been very unsettling. Over the past few months the relationship has turned very sour. She has on numerous occassions tried to commit suicide for rather petty reasons (e.g me speaking to my family, me accusing of being abusive towards her, me not wanting to stay with her family).

With respect to her issue regarding my abusive behavour towards her. I have become upset and angry when she has tried to commit suicide (e.g by preventing her from doing this to herself on numerous occassions) by grabbing whatever she was using e.g a knife to cut her wrists, a belt to hang herself, overdosing herself on a number of occassions.

Recently (2 months ago) all these isses came to a head. My and her entire family s aware of the issue.

She now claims that I have been beating her up (which I haven't) and she has doctors records to prove the above facts. If her arms and hands were hurt while I tried to grab things from her whilst she tried to kill herself. Is this termed abuse? I am not sure She claims that I even abused her in front of my brother (which I didn't). He is my proof of this.

The occasion that this happened was when I tried to protect her. During the time that we were married, I have done nothing but try to look after her to the best of my ability.

I am just afraid that her mental state is such that she may implicate me in something that I am innocent in. We are currently separated and her family has brought up this issue regarding her abuse and the doctors records.

She has previously been on anti-depressant medication and her behaviour is uncontrollable sometimes.

The reason for me contacting you is I would like to know where I stand with regards to this. Can you help me? Should I seek legal counsel?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It is an unfortunate fact that some people, perhaps most often women, do make false complaints of abuse, especially when they are such an unstable person as your wife sounds. You should seek legal advice, so that your pooint of view is at least on record at this stage. Maybe you could communicate with whichever doc has been treating her and prescribing the meds, so that he knows of the suicide attempts and aggression, as he should want to re-assess her and consider different treatment.
And see if then you can persuade her to join you within marriage counselling

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Accused | 2007/12/06

Thanks for the valuable advice Cybershrink.

Reply to Accused
Posted by: divorced - regret it | 2007/12/06

sometime its easy to overlook the things we do to others and justify our actions. we need to ensure that we give off our best to the people that we love. marriage is hard work - are you now looking for an excuse out of it? sometimes the truth can be misconstrued by many people - heard of broken telephone? the only way that you can resolve things is by speaking to yor wife. do you love her?if you love her then nothing should interfere in that. remember that you have accepted her into your life. you have made a promise to her to take of her. you need to fulfill your promise to her. she is you main responsibility in your life right now. maybe the fact that she wants to commit suicide lies within you.

you need to concentrate on your wife and your marriage and nothing else.

remember that for some people it is easy to make promises but it is very difficult for people to live up to these promises.

Reply to divorced - regret it

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