Our expert says:
From your initial description, at least part of the problem seems to be a relative lack of assertivness, so you can say No, effectively, when that is the best answer. He sounds as though he was hugely possessive and controlling, and the sort of guy nobody deserves to have a relationship with. (OK, I can think of one or two politicians who might deserve it, but not you ).
Why you are missing such a guy, is more mysterious, because you ought to be celebrating daily,your lucky escape, but Lolo and Hope* are right --- loneliness plays a part, and low self-esteem which he so carefully created in you. Consider seeing a good CBT counsellor to work on enhancing your self-esteem, confidence and asertiveness, both to get over this creep, and to prepare self-defense skills to avoid such guys in the future
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