Posted by: Schweet | 2004/11/04

Emotional Abuse

Does the above exist?
What could be the implications?
Is it murder of the soul?
How do you know if everything you believe about yourself, is merely a way to protect yourself from more abuse?
Is it ok not to want to feel bad about yourself anymore?


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Our expert says:
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Sure it exists, and is common. its effects obviously depend on its nature, the extent to which it matches the target individual's vulnerabilities and fears, and the personality of the target person. SOme one can ignore and dismiss as simply the unkindness of an unworthy person, just as one refuses to be insulted when a dog barks at you. Certainly one wants to get over it --- the longer you hug to you the bad messages the abuser pushed onto you, the more you are keeping the abuse alove. It's most excellent no to want to feel bad about yourself anymore ; and counselling is the right place and method to use, especially the CBT style of counselling, to free yourself and get on with the more enjoyable parts of your life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: vanity | 2004/11/04

Yes I agree but what to do?

Reply to vanity
Posted by: Snooks | 2004/11/04

What a mouthful, Tx Paul!


Reply to Snooks
Posted by: Paul | 2004/11/04

Physical abuse includes:

slapping, punching, hitting, kicking, shoving, scratching, biting, throwing things at you.

threatening or attacking you

locking you in or out of the house or abandoning you in a dangerous place

refusing to help you when you are injured, sick or pregnant

Sexual abuse includes:

making you wear clothes or do sexual things that make you uncomfortable

pressuring or forcing you to perform sexual acts that you do not want to do

forcing you to have sex when you do not want to; raping you or threatening to rape you

forcing you to have sex with other people

Emotional abuse includes:

insulting you

making you feel stupid or worthless

ridiculing your beliefs

humiliating you in public or private

ignoring you

intimidating or harassing you

being overly jealous or possessive

accusing you of infidelity without good reason

isolating you from your family and friends

preventing you from going to work or school

attacking your children or your pets

threatening to kill you or to leave you or throw you out

threatening to kill himself or go mad if you leave or don’t do what he wants

Financial or Material abuse includes:

taking or spending your money

preventing you from having a job

taking or destroying your possessions

spending most of the money on himself or giving you a very small allowance

expecting you to account for every cent or do more with the money than is possible

refusing to give you information about your joint financial situation


There are many common beliefs about why men choose to be violent:

he had a sad or traumatic childhood

he drinks or uses drugs

his life is very stressful

he has trouble expressing his feelings

he is oppressed because he is poor

he suffered under apartheid

he can’t control his anger


Reply to Paul

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