Our expert says:
Sure it exists, and is common. its effects obviously depend on its nature, the extent to which it matches the target individual's vulnerabilities and fears, and the personality of the target person. SOme one can ignore and dismiss as simply the unkindness of an unworthy person, just as one refuses to be insulted when a dog barks at you. Certainly one wants to get over it --- the longer you hug to you the bad messages the abuser pushed onto you, the more you are keeping the abuse alove. It's most excellent no to want to feel bad about yourself anymore ; and counselling is the right place and method to use, especially the CBT style of counselling, to free yourself and get on with the more enjoyable parts of your life.
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