Our expert says:
First of all, this really is nothing at all to be embarrassed about. It's just such a pity that we as a society find sex and sexual difficulties so difficult to discuss.
The last part of your question - about you not climaxing - I wondered whether this was when he had an erection and if he lost it after that...in which case it may be that he feels that the 18yr gap affected his sexual prowess and developed performance anxiety. If he had ED before he met you, and has ED when he masturbates too, I would encourage him to have a health check first (ED is sometimes an early warning sign of serious health problems and this needs to just be checked, even if you don't want prescription meds). The other factor is that as he ages, he will need more and more direct stimulation in order to achieve an erection, it may be that this contributes to the problem.
There are all sorts of over the counter 'remedies' that some people swear by, but there is little if any scientific evidence or evaluation of the products. I'm not sure why he doesn't want Viagra (or Levitra or Cialis - there are 3 such pills), but there are other options, including sex therapy to address psychological factors, and also older medical methods (injection into the penis, pellet inserted into the urethra), vacuum device.
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