Our expert says:
Gosh. Sounds like your mom's range of planning and expectations are highly unrealistic, and selfishly focussed on what she wants rather than on whatever is reasonable or even feasible.
Before they leave of finalize their plans, tell them clearly and firmly that it will NOT be practical for them to stay with you, as it will not work for them to share a 1 bedroom flat with you and your daughter, especially with the demands of your essential job, etc. Don't accept any argument about that. It would not be in the least spiteful or selfish to tell them these facts. By all means offer to HELP to find them a rental, but be cautious even then not tomsign leases or furnish deposits, etc., for them. As Woman wisely says, give them some options as to other flats, and let THEM choose, so they can't blame you if, as is likely the don't like the flat they use.
And if they refuse to come unless they stay with you - then let them refuse to come. This is to be assertive, nor aggressive, and to stand up for your rights as an individual and for those of your child. Don't fear her anger - its probabl inevitable that she will continue to be angry about many things - that sounds as characteristic of her as the colour of your eyes - and equally not your fault or responsibility.
When you're a child, you have few altyernatives but to follow your mom's directives, whether they be sensible or senseless. Wen youj are adult you have choices, and she has only the power you choose to give her. Don't choose to give her any
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