Our expert says:
Have you always been this way, or just recently. Or maybe it was just recently that you realized that this is what you do, and that its not a good thing to do ? Sounds like there are marital problems between you two, and marriage counselling from a proper counsellor would be a good idea. It sounds as though you've been trying various tactics on your own, but without fully understanding yourself OR your wife, its not likely to be successful.
Losing weight may be a good idea from several different points of view, but won't solve the problem of having an ugly temper and being nasty to people.
Depression is possible ( its a common disorder ) - maybe the marriage counsellor, once dealing with the problems between the pair of you, could help you to clarify whether depression is also a part of the problem, and if so, seeing a psychiatrist about that could be a good idea, too.
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