Posted by: Mary | 2008/06/05


My son is homosexual and I accept this and love him for who he is. My question is: I know he has had a couple of girlfriends and has had sex with them, surely you are homosexual or not. How can you go both ways?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Mary and thanks for posting here. I've responded to your subsequent post but, as Nikkits and Apache_Boy say, I'm also impressed by your efforts to get more info/clarity. I hope you'll find this space useful so please keep posting.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Apache_boy | 2008/06/05

Now this is nice mom! Like nikkits said, welcome.
Ma'am, i love the attitude and relationship you have with your son. My only advice, or my 2c worth, keep talking with him, keep it open and honest! And i hope to hear from you soon! And thanx 4 being a great mom to your son!

Hugs n love

Reply to Apache_boy
Posted by: Nikkits | 2008/06/05

Hello Mary

First. Thanks for posting here and WELCOME ;)

Few parents have the attitude you have and that is SUPERB!

From my personal perspective I would want to ask just why you think he is gay? What age is he and if he has been with girls then it does not mean he is not gay or in between or anywhere fixed on the sexual orientation scale at the moment.

Remember also he is merely expressing his sexuality taken into account that there are so much information overflow out there and thus giving him choices.

The crux of the matter will manifest itself later perhaps when his sexual habits or behavior (hope he stays SAFE btw) move away from the psychical act of sex towards a form of commitment in a specific RELATIONSHIP.

You need to keep in mind that homosexuality is not about a man having sex with a man or a female with a female BUT about long term attraction and commitment to a partner of the same sex.

Sadly the conservative mis leading information (mainly from religion) has attached a stigma to same sex attraction and it will take generations to “repair” that damage.

Love your son and keep open, free and honest communication between the two of you without focusing on whether he is homosexual, bi sexual or heterosexual.

Coming here and asking questions is a wonderful idea, hope to see more of you here with questions that will also help others who come here but are afraid sometimes to ask.


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