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Question
Posted by: Sue | 2004/10/22

Effect of verbal abuse on baby?

I am married to a man who is verbally abusive towards me, his mother and his first child. His mother lives with us and is also verbally abusive to the first child. We have one baby girl who is now about 6 months old. I can manage with the verbal abuse coming my way, but I am worried about the effect it will have on our child. Is it better for a child to grow up with divorce parents than in a abusing environment with both parents? What effect does watching verbal abuse to others have on babies and toddlers? Currently she starts crying everytime someone else is crying.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

it is not on the whole good for a child to grow up in an abusive relationship, as not only may they experience abuse themselves, but may draw various unhelpful conclusions from witnessing it. From the sound of it, though, your child is probably too young to be affected, though she can pick up the air of emotional tension, hence the crying. Call POWA and discuss your situation with this group that specializes in helping the abused. As NM saysm best of all a child should grow up in a loving environment, even if that is with a single mom, rather than a miserable fuller family.
You need not accept this abuse --- talk with POWA and find a safe way out of it.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: NM | 2004/10/22

BREAK FREE! PLEASE!

Post your last question as a NEW one - Cybershrink doesn't go back to "answered" questions...

Reply to NM
Posted by: j | 2004/10/22

Who said there is no proof re. verbal abuse.Maybe you should try to record him on a tape or something. POWA have dealt with many abuse situations and they will know best how to assist you.

Quit making excuses to leave the man-you dont deserve to be abused in any way.

Reply to j
Posted by: Sue | 2004/10/22

I left him last year when he told me to go for an abortion when I told him I was pregnant. After the baby was born he wanted to try again. I didn't want to but thought it was worth a try for the baby's sake.

I think my main fear is that he would sue me for custody should I leave him. There is no proof when it comes to verbal abuse - how can POWA help?

Reply to Sue
Posted by: ec | 2004/10/22

Hi Sue - i agree with NM...although it's not easy AT ALL to walk away we just shouldn't allow abuse of any kind in our lives! There are 'bullies' that treat the people who care most about them with total disregard and that is simply not acceptable! I feel very sorry for the child that gets it from the dad and the gran. And the fact that the gran is abusive to the child is sad - so what image is that poor child growing up with - your baby will be completely confused and hearing abuse all 'round cannot be good for your child.
I don't know what you can do but i'm thinking of you and all woman in the same situation with lots of love! HUG!!

Reply to ec
Posted by: NM | 2004/10/22

Sue,

Sometimes it's so easy for people to give advise about a situation they know nothing about....

Any form of abuse is just WRONG!!!! You are equals and he really needs to see this. What does his mom say when he treats her like this? I take it he won't go for counseling??

Don't let him treat you this way....

Reply to NM
Posted by: Sue | 2004/10/22

How can I not allow the abuse - nothing I say matters?

Reply to Sue
Posted by: NM | 2004/10/22

It is better for a child to grow up in a LOVING HOME even if it means that it's with a single mom. I can't believe you actually allow him to abuse you!! (and the fact that he is even verbally abusing him mom - she woman who raised him - tell me exactly what kind of person he is. By staying with him you will only show your children that it's rights to treat someone this way or worse...to allow people to treat you like that. Move on....you deserve a loving partner.....and the children a HAPPY HOME!!!!!

Reply to NM

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