Our expert says:
It is a bit difficult to understand your question but I think you are saying that you have what is called premature ejculation or that you feel that you ejaculate too quickly and you can't control it.
It is important to know that the average time it takes men to come after first stimulation begins is 2-3 minutes, so holding off can be difficult, especially if you feel very aroused. Your ability to delay ejaculation may depend on: tiredness, concentration, how exciting/stimulating the sex is, and how long since last sex. Men have to learn to control ejaculation if they are to attempt to 'pleasure' their partner through penetrative intercourse, as the male response is normally much quicker than is the case for females. The best way to learn this would be through masturbation where you learn to identify your physical signs (e.g. heightening sensation, a sensation in the testicles, heart rate) that you needs to ease off before ejaculation is inevitable (i.e. when the 'twitching' begins, it's probably too late). One way to help with this would be to try scoring your arousal on a scale of 0-10, with 8 being the point at which there's no turning back. You must aim to practice slowing techniques when you reaches about 6/10. Slowing techniques could be slowing or changing the rhythm of the friction, trying to take some deep and slow breaths, and try tensing the pelvic floor muscles as if you're trying to stop the flow of urine. Once your arousal has reduced somewhat (e.g. to about 4/10), you can resume stimulation and repeat this process several times before allowing ejaculation to take place. I hope this advice will help you.
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
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