Our expert says:
I grow weary of responding to variations on this theme. EVERYONE please remember before sneaking into your partner's / friend's business, that whatever you find will place you in this dilemma in which you can only discuss it by revealing that you were sneaky. A major problem if your complain is that HE was being sneaky !
However, what you have found sounds very much as though he has been and is cheating on you. And if he refuses counselling with you, you may be best served by leaving him --- maybe, if he protests, making joint counselling a requirement for staying on pro tem.
On Zandi's point, is there a way for you to chat to his supervisor about his holiday in Cape Towm revealing that there is NO death in the family ?
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