Posted by: Anon | 2008/08/27


My partner does not know that I have access to his e-mails and most times my curiosity gets the better of me. I went to his e-mails and he has a number of photos of women and then he replies to the mails telling them how beautiful they are etc. I am so disgusted that I cant even talk to him. If any man looks at me he wants to jump down my throat. He has been in relationships with some of these women and he is still in contact with them. He never ever sends me e-mails to say hello but he religiously does so on a daily basis to them. There is a woman in Cape Town and then he decides that he wants to visit Cape Town. He told me this weekend he is working and then he sent his supervisor a message saying that they had a death in the family - nothing that I know about. How do I deal with this? If he is doing this which i consider cheating then I dont think that there is hope for this relationship. Counselling is not an option because he is not interested. What do I do because I cannot tell him that I know his password.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I grow weary of responding to variations on this theme. EVERYONE please remember before sneaking into your partner's / friend's business, that whatever you find will place you in this dilemma in which you can only discuss it by revealing that you were sneaky. A major problem if your complain is that HE was being sneaky !
However, what you have found sounds very much as though he has been and is cheating on you. And if he refuses counselling with you, you may be best served by leaving him --- maybe, if he protests, making joint counselling a requirement for staying on pro tem.
On Zandi's point, is there a way for you to chat to his supervisor about his holiday in Cape Towm revealing that there is NO death in the family ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: innocent child | 2008/08/27

You are his girlfriend and have a right to know whether he is cheating even if it means checking his email. If he' s not hiding anything then he has no reason not to show you his emails. You deserve better. My advise to you is break up with him because he is obviously not interested in you or the relationship anymore if he doesn' t even email you.

Reply to innocent child
Posted by: Babe | 2008/08/27

Tell him an old family friend has passed away in exactly the place he is going to and c his reaction. Tell him u hav to go to the funeral as her relatives already paid the airfare.

Reply to Babe
Posted by: zandi | 2008/08/27

Anon, it' s tme for the truth now, your husband makes you a doormat, you live once in this life you have to let him knowall about this shit he' s doing with other ladies, who does he think he is to cheat like that of course you must let him know that you know about those e-mails and the lies he tells at work, if i were you i would tell them at work that he is lying there' s no death, and please he must stop playing with death in a family tell him that death is not his game. uuuuuuuuuh i wish i was there to tell him myself what a liar he is, so Anon if u sit like a chicken in the cold then he will bring back the HIV to you, stand up for your rights missy don' t be fool by this stupid thing sorry to say this it' s just that i get angry when i see a man cheats but when we as women talk to other men they become agressive, so stand up for your rights it' s your life you live once

Reply to zandi
Posted by: Furious | 2008/08/27

Leave Him now. Get out. I have the same problem. Cannot get out that easily as much as I would like to. Married with kids.

Run as fast as you can away from him. Good Luck

Reply to Furious
Posted by: P | 2008/08/27

What can you do?
Do you mean after you have left him?

Reply to P

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.