Posted by: Anon | 2009/07/09

Dunno any more

Ive been so sad and lonely for the last couple of months, I have a boyfriend, but he never listens,doesn' t really care. I cant say anything, too scared to upset him or anger him in any way(never been abusive, just tired of emotional drama),I have no one to talk to, family' s too far away and I have to cope on my own, mom' s never really been someone to really give advise for matter of life and heart, Im screaming from inside:HELP!!! No one listens though, strange I have 1 friend, but struggle to talk to her.......Im tired of explaining and going into a subject, trying to explain why I feel the way I do, Ive had a 7yr marriage and that only existed of emotional and physical abuse, now in a relationship where I asumed iin the beginnig was wonderful, now there' s little there, but I cant say anything, I just have to keep quiet otherwise I' ll have 2 or 3 days tense moods again, or he' ll leave me for his ex again as he' s done so many times in the past, work is a nightmare, I jst dont have the strength anymore to go on like this, I pray everyday for that little bit of help, which I dont seem to get from anywhere, nobody hears my cries, or cares about me in general. Im very very alone and just dont want to be here anymore, thinking of ways to end it, but something holding me back, tried before, never succeeded, I have no more fight in me, I cannot go on anymore......How do I get out of all this, why cant it go well for me for once in my life? I was molested as a child, pushed away by my stepfather(whom I then believed to have been my father) I was raped in high school by freind, husband abused me, now this boyfriend whom I adore so much? Why me? Why?

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Our expert says:
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Well, he sounds like a boy, but hardly a friend. Maybe you fel so otherwise isolated that you put up with his tantrums rather than be alone ? But sometimes you are indeed more alone WITH someone like that than without them, when you can learn greater self-sufficiency and then be better placed to form more sustaining relatonships.
Why not arrange to see a counsellor, to work on your personal concerns, as well as to learn to be better able to handle these issues ? You probably don't need to explain yourself to most other people. You have had bad experiences when younger, probably leading to gloomy expectations of how others will treat you. Working towards more fruitful epectations and assumptions in CBT counselling, could be very helpful. There may also be a degree of depression deserving of proper treatment
A real relationship should have you feeling so cautious, nor as though it were necessary to have mor "fight" within you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009/07/09

Perhaps you should see a psychiatrist for a full assessment. You sound very depressed. That with some CBT type counseling will help you feel much better soon. There IS light at the end of the tunnel. And even in that deep dark hole of depression - if you look for it, you will find that rope ladder of help that you need.

Good Luck

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