Our expert says:
I wouild be pessimistic about his chances of getting off either, let alone both, of his bad habits, entirely on his own, but he should be able to achieve this with proper help. That he has allowed himself to become dependent on both coke and gambling suggests that he has a significant vulnerability to dependency on various substances and behaviours, and that he should best see a good local rehab progam and/or shrink for assessment and professional help. Make sure immediately that he no longer has ANY possibility of spending let alone gambling away, ANY of your earnings
I'm inclined to agree with Tango --- he souinds as though he needs to hit rock bottom ON HIS OWN< and work his way back from there, without dragging you and the baby with him. And the TOugh Love folks could indeed be most helpful. Do NOT accept his emotional blackmail of threatening to kill himself if you leave --- that is an immoral and wicked from of blackmail. Get him into a rehab program first, and warn them to carry the responsibility of supporting him after you leave. He is obviously profoundly manipulative, and giving in to manipulation only strengthens that pattern of behaviour. He has full and total responsibility for himself andf the choices he has made and will make in the future --- it is not your fault, and you should not take responsibility for making him fel temporarily cheerful
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