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Question
Posted by: Maria | 2007/03/17

Drug problem

Hi Doc

My fiance has been battling drugs (cocaine) for almost 10 years and we've been together for about six months. Anyway, whenever i mention or suggest that he get help for it, we get into a fight about it. I know i can't force him to get help, but he won't even agree to talk to a professional about it. I am really worried and don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

Thanks
Maria

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberDoc

Dear Maria
You can't do anything to help someone that is not willing to help himself. You should decide whether it is worth it to be involved in a relationship with someone who obviously cares more about his cocaine than about a future with you and what effect this will have on your children, if you ever have any.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anxious | 2007/03/17

It's called being in denial. He clearly at this stage has no intention of giving up his drug addiction. You are asking for trouble going into a possible marriage with a drug addict. Apart from a long list of other things, you could end up on the wrong side of things, one of them being abuse which could easily turn violent. You should insist that if he continues to refuse to seek professional help for his drug addiction, you will consider ending the relationship. Can you really see yourself being married to a drug addict? Cocaine is nothing to play around with. Suddenly he hasn't got enough money to keep his addiction going, so he starts asking for/stealing money from you to keep his addiction going. The list goes on and on.

I am sure you could find a happier relationship with someone else if your fiance continues along this path.

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