Our expert says:
You have to face the fact that your sister is a drug addict, who seems to have not the remotest intention of stopping that useless line of existence at present, and she is a liar and a thief, who will betray and steal from ANYONE to support her habit. Neither you nor anyone in the family should give her any money nor any stuff she can turn into money, and not ever allow her entry to your homes or offices, except perhaps when very closely supervised. And you tell her that because she has stolen so much, you cannot tolerate a predator in your midst.
That, at least, puts an end to her long list or predations.
Stop getting involved in the life of her or her slimy friend --- doing so is damaging to you, and ultimately damaging to her. I think the feeble excuse that other people are being "judgemental" ( apparently, in the eyes of enthusiastic sinners, a far worse sin than theft, cheating, or any other ways of hurting other people ) should be treated with the utter contempt it deserves. IF you do things that harm or hurt other people you SHOULD be judged and WILL be, and you are not better off for not being told how much people despise your choice of actions.
She doesn't deserve to be "understood" ( by which she means excused for her way of life ) --- she needs to become understandable.
Why are you all so busy supporting her bad habits ? Why on earth would the lad lend her a playstaion ? Is he nuts ? She doesn't need to play, she needs to work, and will only see a playstation in terms of what she can sell it for and how much booze and drugs that will buy her.
Why are any of you having conversations with smug Jess and smugger Ann ? If she can have so much beauty sleep, and remain such a profoundly ugly person, clearly something is not working. Why do you all keep getting into conversations and emotional entanglements with these people ? And if Ann an Jess have "all these friends" --- let those friends take care of them.
And tell your father that it is most absolutely definitely NOT his fault that Jess chooses to pickle herself in alcohol --- his moving out did NOT cause that --- and he moved out on all of you, and only Jess has chosen to become alcholic. You ask "how can we stop this" -- in terms of Jess's choices to live in this way YOU cannot stop it --- only she can, and the more you help her to get buy as a thief and addict, the longer it will take for her to want to stop this.
Tell your sister than you'll be pleased to see her if and when she has cleaned up her act, and until then she should not bother you. Do not blame yourself for any further trouble she chooses to get herself into.
Jess is an adult, and allowed to be stupid and make foolish decisions --- you canot unmake those for her.
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