Posted by: trish | 2009/08/14

drinking problem

Hi doc
please help,my boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and in order to support him i have stopped drinking in front of him. that means every party or supper or anything i go for i am unable to drink. the problem is, i' m having a hard time coping with that. i get irriatable cos i feel like drinking and no i can' t. i know my limit when i do drink and never over do it and i don' t drink everyday just 1 time a week if i' m able to and that only 3 drinks most. i sometimes even hide a single drink in my bag so if i need it a can hide and drink.i' m worried do i have a problem or do you think that i' m developing a drinking problem as well.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lets focus on why YOU feel so bothered by not drinking. Feeling you have to hide your own drinking isn't good for enabling you to maintain a healthy attitude towards your own drinking. If this is a problem when you go out to functions together, why is it so important for you not to drink then --- when there are likely to be many other people around him, all drinking. An alcoholic needs to learn to control the urge and to not drink when there is alcohol around and others are drinking. Remaining sober on a desert-island isn't the skill he needs. Why not discuss this with him, and revise your support plan, and model responsible and controlled drinking, rather than uneasy sobriety, for him ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jane | 2009/08/17

I am a smoker and my BF is a terrible anti smoker. If we go out for dinner with just the 2 of us, we sit in non-smoking and I dont smoke, but if theres a whole group of us who are also smoking, then I usually do. Perhaps you could apply a similar philosophy?
Avoid drinking at home, if its just you two, but he needs to learn to cope seeing others drink - including you

Reply to Jane
Posted by: B | 2009/08/14

what does your BF say about this? maybe you should take a drink when you are together and not hide it? this must be very frustrating for you, what counts is that you know you don' t have a problem if you drink responsibly. my opinion anyway...i' m not a drinker myself by choice and do not mind when others indulge socially.

Reply to B

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