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Question
Posted by: Scorpio | 2004/10/21

Drags on and on- now not sure

Been expecting a proposal after dating and having a wonderful relationship for years. Have on two occasions brought up the future as it is OUR relationship not just his and he has said that yes a decision needs to be made and then for weeks not another thing was said. I know giving ultimatum is not the answer but I am getting bored with out "routine" even though I try to make our relationship fun as I am the spontaneous one - he is methodical, orderly type. Still now I am thinking that I should give him till the end of the year because I really want to plan my life and not just jog along - I want to look ahead. On the other hand he is the best boyfriend I have every had - the best relationship and let's face it I am in a job and situation that makes it impossible to meet others. I am also middle aged (but not so bad for my age) yet I know after being years and years on my own the difficulties of finding men friends. Deep down I know that there are other out there but this guy has the qualities I would love to have in a husband. To wait or not? For how long. I don't want to bring the subject up again....it took a lot of courage (and nerves) the talk but it didn't get the desired result.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

,,,, I agree with kay and D@mn

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: D@mn | 2004/10/21

Why don't u propose to him?

Reply to D@mn
Posted by: danny-girl | 2004/10/21

What is that saying - if it's not broken don't fix it ???

You are lucky to have such a man in your life there are so many on this site that would give a lot to just have this.

Be so careful of an ultimatum.... very, vry careful

Reply to danny-girl
Posted by: Kay | 2004/10/21

Sit him down and ask him how he sees your future together....some people just dont place as much meaning on marriage as others and maybe he is one of them.

You need to make yourself clear on what you expected and let him do the same - it sounds like there isnt a whole lot of communication going on and in my experience unless its actually said and not assumed to be known its never going to be resolved which in turn will probably lead to conflict and unhappiness....all of which CAN be avoided by having an open and honest discussion.

Reply to Kay

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