Our expert says:
Hi Ben (and I have just seen your message on 09/09 urging my response - apologies but unfortunately I'm not always able to respond on the day, but will get back to questions such as yours which require professional comment.)
It MAY not be as simple as just learning control - other factors such as infrequent intercourse may play a role in heightening excitement making control difficult for any man! A female partner's anger if the man slows down may also prevent him from controlling ejaculation. It might be important to understand the whole picture more fully, and given your comment in your message about the problem possibly resulting in divorce, I would recommend going to see a professional who can manage the relationship issues and start you on the path of learning delaying strategies.
I'm thinking of two main options for professional help:
1. A GP could prescribe medication which has the side effect of delaying orgasm - this is a short term measure as your response will return to normal once you stop taking the medication.
2. Call the SASHA helpline (0860 100 262) to request referral to a professional in PTA (I know for a fact that there are some there!)
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