Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/22

down and need an upper

dear doc.

well, I am job hunting like crazy and sadly nothing has turned up as yet. we' re talking months here.
the reasons for my being currently unemployed is irrelevant if u ask me.
I am living in my mum' s vacant house with granmum.. and well.. we argue a heck of a lot. always have always will, but we are extremely close and we love each other dearly

she unknowingly makes comments that offend me deeply like someone is paying for my food and I' m eating away type thing..or if I don' t take her somewhere she wants to go I' m considered emobile or lazy or whatever.

I' m no saint but I can hold my tongue before I hurt feelings so badly.
when I desperately want to move out, I immediately miss her and not want to go.
I don' t know what to do anymore. she' s rude at times and insulting and I don' t know how to deal with older ppl that don' t mean to be nasty,but still are.
my goodness

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Our expert says:
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In some ways it wakes two people who know each other well, and love each other, to argue strongly. Older people ( you don't mention her age ) can become more tactless and abrasive as they age. And their comments are often hurtful when they don't expect them to be, or more hurtful than they mean. Over 60 she's unlikely to change, so toleration could be wise on your side --- and remember, if you're walking down the street and a dog barks at you, you don't feel hurt or personally insulted --- dogs bark, and feel better for barking, and you were in the right place to give them an opportunity to bark. It's not about you

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Our users say:
Posted by: Natasha | 2009/05/22

My granny has always been mean to me (called me names, hit me, etc) but in the end, they' re old &  they don' t know they' re being mean. I' d just let it slide. I know it' s hurtful but shame, they' re old and are going to die soon- don' t let her spend the rest of her life feeling like crap because she was mean. As for unemployment, have you looked of Gumtree for work? Promotions always pay pretty well if you can' t find any other work.

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