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Question
Posted by: Daphne | 2011/09/06

Down

I really feel down. I do not know who I am fighting against to get ahead in life as every step I gain something happens and I end up 2 steps back! I suffer from depression to begin with and have a few unsuccessful suicide attempts behind me. All changed after my marriage and my kids came along but I feel targeted by God somehow. How many marriages or even relationships goes through death, separation, financial distress, unemployment and illness in all of four years. I feel like I am jixing my husband and kids and somehow feel they will be better of without me. I feel like such a failure in life as I have a degree and 15 years experience, excellent references and no job! I gain weight the more depressed I get and even though I lost 35kg''s I am still 30kg overweight. According to the BMI calculator I am obese! I feel like a stupid, ugly fat cow who just bring everybody down. I am unemployed and have exactly zero money to see someone and at the clinic here they are not particularly interested in my sh@t. No answer for my riddle but thanks for listening.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder if this started with a Post Natal Depression. I understand what you say about how it feels, but I'm sure you're not targeted by God - a God that targeted innocent people wouldn't be a God. You're neither jinxed nor jinxing anyone else. But you do sound seriously depressed, which, fortunately, is an unpleasant condition which generally responds really well to proper treatment.
Please see a good local psychiatrist as soon as practical, for a thorough frank assessment and treatment. If you can't afford to see one priovately, be more assertive at the state clinic, to see someone who will take your depression seriously, and maybe try to see someone at your nearest Medical School Dept of Psychiatry, and argue in favour of medication plus counselling assistance.
As the depression lifts, you will stop seeing yourself so negatively, and be better able to do, constructively, what you wish - losing weight, finding work, and so on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: John | 2011/09/07

Please seek help. Your words echo my late wife who told me she felt the same. She took her own life shortly after making that statement. No matter how hard we as a family try, we cannot stop looking for answers.

Reply to John
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/07

I wonder if this started with a Post Natal Depression. I understand what you say about how it feels, but I'm sure you're not targeted by God - a God that targeted innocent people wouldn't be a God. You're neither jinxed nor jinxing anyone else. But you do sound seriously depressed, which, fortunately, is an unpleasant condition which generally responds really well to proper treatment.
Please see a good local psychiatrist as soon as practical, for a thorough frank assessment and treatment. If you can't afford to see one priovately, be more assertive at the state clinic, to see someone who will take your depression seriously, and maybe try to see someone at your nearest Medical School Dept of Psychiatry, and argue in favour of medication plus counselling assistance.
As the depression lifts, you will stop seeing yourself so negatively, and be better able to do, constructively, what you wish - losing weight, finding work, and so on.

Reply to cybershrink

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