Posted by: Tears | 2008/07/02

Dont want to hurt anymore

Hi CS. I am not sure what to do about my relationship anymore. We didnt have the best start but there were lots of things that I changed to make things better and for a while things were going beautifully between us. Lately my heart has been heavy because it just feels as if the sprak has gone out of the relationship. I am so tired of always being the one to make the effort and try and do special things for him. I want to feel wanted and to feel that my boyfriend is actually willing to fight for us. He is really stubborn and has the attitude that if someone doesnt want to be with him then he doesnt care and won't force them. Its as if it wouldnt make the slightest difference to him if I was gone tomorrow. I am not sure how to approach it because he usually just gets irritated and angry when I tell him that something is bothering me. Thing is I do love him and I know what we can have but relationships cant always come from one side. What do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your story sugests that you have Always been the one making the effort to benefit the relationship, which is not a good pattern. Your bf sounds rather vain and big-headed if he thinks its only everyone else who has to make efforts to enjoy the incredible experience of being with him. Nothing that you descrie about him soudns at all loveable --- what exactly IS it that you love within him ? If he won't join you in relationship counselling or some other effort to get things right, this may be as good as it gets --- and don't you deserve more than that ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2008/07/02

What is better, to be in a relationship where you are torn internally and unhappy or alone? Sometimes we spend our whole life trying to change people or expecting them to change to suite our needs instead we should have concentrated on our own choices available at the time. If you know what you want out of a relationship and you are not getting it then you need to make some quality choices and not wait for the other person to change

Reply to SR

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