Posted by: me | 2008/01/28

dont love him no more

Hi, been married for 7 years, 2 children later and i find myself in some sort of 'mid life' crisis....I cant stand my husband, moved out of our bedroom and just cant stand the sight of him...its like I just fell out of love with him, and it basically happend over night...please help

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Our expert says:
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NO, this sort of thing really doesn't simply happen over night --- it has to be more complex than that. See a good local marriage counsellor, maybe first by yourself, and then together.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Feet | 2008/01/29

Same feeling here - been married for 20 years. Hubby only lives for his work. Used to fight for attention and was concerned for his health etc. Now, don't know what happened, i just don't care anymore.... whatever. Do not even have the desire to discuss this with him anymore, don't care whether he comes or goes. I got no attention for many years, never got treated like a woman, always had to fend for myself and work for my own money. Always felt it was "helping him towards a better future for us" . future's still no better, I am run down and look old compared to women that has been treated, cared for and looked after by their husbands. So... whatever.

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Posted by: S | 2008/01/29

You fall in love by CHANCE and you fall out of love by CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to S
Posted by: SR | 2008/01/28

Having lunch with my girlfriend yesterday the conversation came up whilst we were clinking glasses.

Men during their twenties learn nothing about being men, even though they may be married with children all about the career, socialising, material gain etc ..... in the process they fly so fast through their twenties when they hit their 30's they are so caught up in bond repayments, navigating a career path, family committments etc that somehow very soon Disillusionment sets in , they lose the 'dream'. They try to find themselves through various outlets, they cannot reaffirm themselves through their spouses because in many instances they may even be blaiming having married that person as a stumbling block for dreams they once had and didnt realise.

In many cases couples dont dream together and build on a common goal. Instead they lead separate lives. Her doing the wife duties and him doing the mans duties which have nothing to do with him being a man

So I guess by now you gather that the woman in the relationship is also Disillusioned with her dream man. He looks for affirmation and finding it all in the wrong places when he should be finding it at home.

I guess its that whole story of striking the balance ..... sometimes not striking the balance can have devastating effects

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