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Question
Posted by: noli | 2007/07/26

dont know whats wrong with me

i dont know where to start because i'm so lonely even though i have a boyfriend, sisters anf some friends. my problem is my boyfriend is very insecure so he ends up beating me when i end doing silly things but not cheating, he doesnt like me having men friends only girlfriends but not many, he's always putting me down, has never complimented me on anything i do wont bear seeing me talking to other men or taking their numbers aat work or anywhere for that matter. he's not working he expects me to buy himself expensive things even though he knows i'm not earning that much and i'm wearing clothes from edgars, mr price, etc and he wears clothes from timbaland, capeunionmart,etc. my mom passed away i've secretly used some of her money on me, my boyfriend and i'm scared now cause they will find out what i've done at home. i really feel so bad about it it has led to me not visiting my sisters. if i'm down i just buy things to make me feel better then feel guilty later. when my boyfriend beats me i tend to think about killing myself but my 2 kids will suffer at the end. i wish i knew what to do

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If your boyfriend beats you AT ALL, leave him, and talk with the good people at POWA rto plan the safest way to do this. NO man who beats a woman has any excuse to expect her to remain in a relationship with him. You are describing a physically and psychologically abusive man. and you deserve much better than that. And on top of that, he expects YOu to buy HIM expensive gifts and clothes ? Who does he think he is ?
Discuss this with POWA and get advice on finding a safe place for you and your kids, and on geting a restraining Order from the COurt forbidding him from threatening, harming or even approaching you or the kids from here on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: one who knows | 2007/07/26

LEAVE HIM. I know it is so much easier for us to say than for you to do but the longer you leave it the worse your life will become. Do it now while you still have some money. He wonts you to have nothing so you will be totaly dependant on him. Also you have no idear how badly this is affecting your children. Please take the advice above, get in touch with people who will help you do this and to recover. You can do this. All the very best.

Reply to one who knows
Posted by: aNNa | 2007/07/26

Noli, you're in an incredibly abusive relationship and you need to contact organisations like POWA (People Against Women Abuse) to get practical advice on how to change your situation.

Stop buying things to make you happy because it's digging you into a deeper hole of guilt and trouble - there's nothing in any shop that can change the fact that you've been beaten, that you are supporting an abuser, that his jealousy is his way of isolating you from anyone that can help you.

So get help from people who know how to deal with this, who know how hard and frightening it is for a woman to walk away from a partner who has made her feel like she can't stand alone.

Remember, you are already supporting him - it can only get easier if you're only supporting yourself and the children. Good luck

Reply to aNNa

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