Posted by: Anon | 2005/12/06

Dont know what todo ?

I have been in a relationship with a guy for some time, he loves very much, i just cannot get myself to love him like he loves me. This has lead to alot of sadness in my own life. The other dilemma is that I am in love with this other guy who just does not love me like I him.

What should we do in life ? Should we stay in a relationship where we are loved by someone or should I pursue a relationship where I love someone who does not love me as much as I love him. ?

I am torn apart by this issue and dont know what todo please help >

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Anon and thanks for posting on our forum.

I'm curious why you remain in your current relationship, and I'm equally curious about how your partner experiences the relationship. I'm also wondering how you quantify love.

You present two options, but there's a third - how about spending some time on your own till you can sort this out in your own mind?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Curious | 2005/12/06


I am certainly not an expert when it comes to relationships so I can only tell you of my experience - take from it what you wish .... I have just come out of a relationship with someone who I was never in love with to begin - we were together for +/- 3 1/2 yrs. We were better friends than lovers and now that it is over I wish we'd ended the relationship much earlier as 3 & 1/2 yrs is a lot of time one could have spent 'finding' the ONE person that truly completes you. In my case my ONE is now in a relationship with someone else and this could have been prevented if I'd followed my heart and gone for the person I was (am) IN LOVE WITH and not the person I Loved (meaning not being in love with but still caring for). At the end of the day we are now both happier and even get along better - I realise we were constantly fighting cause we were unhappy in being together and not really feeling for each other.

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