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Question
Posted by: Kenny | 2004/03/09

Dont know what to do?

Hi, I saw someone posted a similair problem that im facing. My ex and were together for 3 years and we broke up coz we just couldnt get it together. This was 5 months ago, She met someone else and moved in with him 3 weeks ago. Now she says she made a big mistake and she wants to come back. Only problem is she says she is pregnant. I dont know if i should believe her or not. Maybe she is testing my love for her. Im confused. I still love her alot, but dont know if she is toying with me or not. Sum help pls.

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Our expert says:
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Dear Kenny,
I'm really not sure that love is like an Examination, with a series of tests we have to pass. And I wonder what "big mistake" she is admitting --- to have left you, to have gone with the other guy, to have allowed herself to fall pregnant by a guy she hardly knew. At the very least she sounds awfully impulsive and inconsistent, which would make it really hard to know what she might do next, and whether one could trust her, emotionally, in the long-term. How sure could you feel that after a couple more months, she might decide that coming back to you was also a "big mistake" ?
And she isn't coming back to you in the same condition in which she left --- she's a different woman, who has shown herself to be unreliable, who comes with another man's child and the requirement that the other man would have to remain a part of that child's life, and thus of hers and her partners. It sounds like an awful lot to ask of you. And if you two "just couldn't get it together" before, how is it conceivable that you'll 'get it together" now ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2004/03/09

Dear Kenny
I am so sorry that she realised too late what she was throwing away. When did she find out she was pregnant? Does he other partner know that she is now expecting his child ( it is his child right?)
Was she mistakened in the fact that she moved on too fast or that she is pregnant?
I do not think this is worth pursuing like the doc says she is no longer the same woman and what will happen if a few months down the line she feels it was a mistake coming back to you, what about the father of the child? Would you be able to raise someone else's kid?
This is too complicated please think about this before you just decide to take her back? Do you have a valid reason for wanting her back?
I am just saying be careful. Weigh your pro's and cons that's all.
Keep us posted - Good Luck

Reply to Juzlisen
Posted by: Dampies | 2004/03/09

Move on buddy.... No use living in the past, you cant go forward while looking over your shoulder

Reply to Dampies
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/03/09

hi there

wow - what a shocker!

i think before you demand the truth from her and insist on test make up your mind - weigh up the pros and cons - raising someone else kid? dealing with the images of her sharing passion with this guy ? he might want to be part of his kids life?

you really have to be mature and stable to be able to live with it all the days of your life

personally i could not do it and would call it a day - rather cry now and get over it in time than living with it forever

take care

nina

Reply to lady nina

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