Posted by: Yonella | 2008/07/03

Don't want to be blamed

I have a 2 yr old son, whom I have broken up with his father. His father used to use me in all the ways(financially, helping him with his job, sexually etc) using our son to get to me. For 3 months he was busy with his own issues, not maintaining and checking his son. After that 3 month with no communication, send me an email to on his son, and started calling almost everyday like a friend, I did not want that and I also could not be the bad person. He even promosed to bring the stuff for the baby. For all those conversation only to find out that he is just interested in me, and something he wanted, not his son.When I asked him about the baby stuff, he started talking he knows his resposibilities, it doesn't mean if he can't afford now he does not care about his son, warawara.

I'm really fed up. I feel like I tried so much not to be the bad mom by pushing my baby's father from being involved with in his life. But i feel like this will continue forever, him dissappearing and not maintaining and then him coming back looking for my help and trying to be a friend...I'm tired and I feel I need to cut him off completely out of my life even if it can be a year...

I love my son dearly and I would not like to be the one to balmed for his father not being involved in his life even if it can be a little period.....Help me to deal with my circumastances

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Our expert says:
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A maintenance court can decide and fix what he must do in the way of maintenance for his child. And then he is in trouble with the court if he does not pay what is agreed there. DO you want to resume the relationship with him, if he is prepared to work at making things work out ? IF so, insist on seeing a relationship counsellor together. Remember as for access to the child ( which the court can also decide ) the important question is what is best for the child, rather than simply what one or other parent wishes.

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