Our expert says:
Sometimes one may have most of the disabilities and disadvantages of a severe depression but not feel noticeably sad --- and this might be the case with you right now. You are describing feeling suicidal, and rather obsessed with a way to commit suicide by forcing a situation in which someone else will kills you. And if you feel uncaring about leavi g behind your husband and child, this sounds like the emotional blunting of some severe depressions. DO, please, arrane promptly to see a good local psychiatrist as an emergency, for a full assessment, telling him exactly what you have told us, and seeking advice on a revision of your medication adn perhaps adding CBT counselling, to relieve this dangerous degree of depression.
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