Posted by: L | 2009/02/05

Don' t understand my mother!!!

My mother and I are not that close, I guess coz we dont agree in anything.

I am 32 and she expext me to do things her way, even in my marriage she asks me to give her a breakdown of our income and expenditure, if we tell her we dont have money. She tells me not to talk to people she considers her enemy, and some of these people are close to me. I guess these are some of the reasons she don' t like me that much.

These days she have atendency of calling my husband and start telling him about her problems, which most of them revolve around money. She even once asked my husband to send her money behind my back. When I confronted her she told me to leave her alone, as my husband is her son in law she will do whatever she wants.

Now she calls my husband and gossip about me to him ie create stories to my husband saying I said things I did not say. Again when I confront him she drops down the phone on my ear.

This is really hurting me and I don' t know what I am gonna do about it. Worst thing she even went to my sisters and told them all these lies and they trully believe her. Even them they dont talk to me anymore.

At once I used to tell her my problems , and she will go and tell whoever cares to listen my secrets. She tells me that she does this coz I dont have respect. She even once called me a dog and an idiot. She told me I will be epoor for the rest of my life and unfortunately I am not yet poor.

She dont like my children, actually she hate them with passion. Reason is coz she wanted me to give them to her to raise and I refused as my husband and I wanted to raise these kids ourselves.

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Our expert says:
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To demand to see your accounts when you hesitate to ive her money is simply greedy and impertinent --- does she show you all her accounts when asking, to show that she deserves any such gift ? She's old enough to manage her own money problems, without expecting handouts. Discuss this calmly with your husband, and agree jointly to ignore these requests and nosy queries. Agree that as soon as she calls and starts to gossip about you, he must immediately hang up on hr. She sounds unoccupied and bored --- why doesn't she get more work to do, to keep herself out of mischief ? And tell her calmly but firmly, that she will have nothing to do with raising your childre, and will receive no more gifts of money from either of you, so she had better begin managing her own affairs better. She has no right to expect you to respect her, when (a) she obviously does not respect you, and (b) she acts unrespectably, not deserving of respect.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Londi | 2009/02/05

The best thing you can do for yourself is to give her space, don' t defend yourself with regards to the lies she spreads about you. She and everybody else know the type

Reply to Londi

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