Posted by: Anon | 2009/03/24

Don' t like myself

I don' t know if there is any hope for me. I do suffer from major depression and OCD etc. But it is now for a few years that I can' t seem to stop disliking some people. Especially my husband exes and children. I hate myself for being like this. I have never been a vindictive or nasty person but the thoughts keep running through my head. I am now even comparing myself and my house to that of my sister-in-law. I know it is wrong and don' t want to be like this but I can' t stop. It feels as if I have hate everyone who hurts animals, small children and innocent people. I hate them with a passion. It sometimes feel as if I can commit murder. I feel like screaming. I also hate anyone who is two-faced and talk behind my husband' s back, especially his children. He does everything for them but they say nasty things about him to other people. I pray alot and ask God to forgive me and try to love everyone especially my husband' s children but I can' t. I am not nasty to them and try to be as friendly as possible and even feel like their friend. I have all these ideas about what I want to do with them and want to spend more time with them but later on I think " No, just leave them alone" . They don' t like me.

What can I do, I don' t want to go on like this. I want to be the person I once was.

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Our expert says:
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I'm certain that there's hope for you, if you allow it. You should be seeing a therapist providing CBT, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, which is brilliant for dealing with unwelcome and unhelpful habits of thought like you describe. Sounds like you're wasting altogether too much energy in hating, rather than in doing something constructive about some of the things you dislike. Don't try to love everyone, especially nasty people --- but maybe start by finding some aspects of them worth liking, and work from there.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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