Posted by: ters | 2008/07/13

don't know what to do

My husband left Spes Forces last year, apr, our house bond became in arrears, I never knew about that, we married out of communtiy of property but house is in both our names, July he just moved out of the house started security comp with friends in he borrowed R30 000 for arrear bond money from my father through a contract, I had no choice but to move back to my home town with a little boy of 9, everything was ripped out under us, he is currently working for Luarica Diamond mine in Angola, visits the RSA often but never sees his son, 1 week ago I found out that he's already engaged to a women living in Pta with to children, although her divorce was finilised 6 mnths ago, we still not devorced and I love him with all my heart, he saw his son 1 year ago and phones when he can as he is using a Satelite phone. Our house must be auctioned now in Pta as it's in arrears. I used to work in die SANDF for 23 years, we is still married for 12 yrs. It seems that he told this lady that he divorced me along time ago I found out her cell no and phoned her and that;s how she became aware of me. I'm so depressed, don't know what to do, and he emailed me every day but since this thing happened he changed his address. I've had so much respect for him as he was also a Lt Col in Special Forces. Please help me, some days I just want to take my own life but it is the little one who's keep me going.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Much of the problem here sounds like one in which you need legal and financial advice, areas where I am unable to help you. If you are still married, he cannot get engaged to someone else --- and does she know he is still married ? He sounds like a foolish and impulsive, immature bloke, the sort who might well end up in the sort of business he apparently works in. Yes, call Lifeline, and try the Divorce support forum. And see a good local lawyer. COuld your father call in the loan he made, so as to get some grip on this guy ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2008/07/13

Shame Ters, what a horrible way to be treated by your husband. Please post to the Divorce forum as well, there are some people who post there who are very knowledgeable about the law. Stay strong for your son. Call Lifeline if you just need someone to talk to. (((Hugs)))

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