Our expert says:
Later there may be useful comments here from the oher expert moms who regularly visit the forum, and you might also find it useful to post on the H24 Parenting forum.
There are complex psychological explanations, but young children at times get unduly attached to some objects, usually a blanket or furry toy, and insist, even though it grows dirty and unpleasant to us, on dragging it around with them, using it as a comforter, a source of re-assurance. Maybe this is what has happened to your child's bottle, and it isn't really about drinking as such.
Any child caregiver such as you describe, who forces a child's mouth open, etc., is being criminally abusive, and should have been charged and investigated by Child Welfare authorities.
Among other efects, she may have felt all the more strongly about drinking from the bottle as a result of being forced not to do so. Interesting that this is NOT a problem at her new school ( I hope the old one was closed down !)
It might be worth stopping attempts to directly encourage her not to drink from the bottle at home. Rather praise her lavishly for how clever and Big she is to drink from the cups when at school ; emphasize how proud you are to hear that she does this so cleverly, like a big girl. Mention how you'd love to see how well she can do this, and that you'll gladly provide a cup for her to drink from, when she's ready to do so.
In other words, look for small ways in which she is nearly doing what you want, and praise and reward that, and largely ignore it when she does what you don't prefer. Don't make a fuss when the drinks from a botle, but try to avoid giving her attention and affecion while she does so, giving it to her when she doesn't do so. Don't press a cup on her, but have it around, and maybe ask her to choose each time you ofer a drink.
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