Our expert says:
Many people have lived alone for most of their lives, and have found various ways to enjoy it. If one has become used to living with some one, it can become something of a habit, but one can get used to it and enjoy it somewhat, too. What may be making it harder for you to get used to it is that you may be troubled by not having experienced lasting success in the two marriages, and may still regret this, and, though you say you've concluded that you dont want another man in your life, you may still see being alone as somehow representing failure, and resent it, rather than embracing its opportunities for diferent friendships and activities, and the focus being on what suits you in the singular rather than the plural
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