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Posted by: sadeyes | 2003/02/21

DOC - PLS HELP!!!

Hi Doc

It is me again! You must be getting a bit tired of me, actually I am getting a bit tired with myself.
I must say that I am extremely over joyed at the fact that I am getting my life back on track, by the way I did not tell you - I stopped seeing my counciller and I feel even better about my life. What upset me about her was that she just wanted to force me to go on anti-depressants, she just kept pushing it - that was why I had asked you in one of my previous postings if you could make a deduction after one session that a person "needed" anti-d's. Well a friend of mine just said that all I needed to get through this was to be honest with myself and find my inner strength to "find" myself again. And you know what she was right.... THANK GOD for real friends. I have now started gyming again ( i need to lose two years of weight-gain) which is going great, already lost three kg's in two weeks, I have not changed my eating habits much, I dont eat less - I eat better. I am so full of life lately and I feel "ALIVE" again. Everything was going so great (even though I got robbed of my phone) when guess who called. Yes my ex - unfortunately him and his uncle were parked outside his complex when they got hijacked - his uncle is in a coma and he was shot in the arm - but he is fine THANK GOD. My problem is that was so shaken to hear this I felt scared and just wanted to cry. He has told me that experience made him realise how much he loved and that he never wanted to lose me, Now I am in turmoil I don't know what to do, a whole rush of emotions flooded over me, I love him but dont want to jump back into a relationship - I feel that him and I should start a new friendship first, because I am still too hurt and raw inside to just jump back into his arms - actually I am scared as hell to love him the way I used to. I love him in many ways and I dont want to make that mistake or lose him as a friend.
PLS HELP any advice would do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear sadeyes,
Pleased to hear about how well you have been doing from your own good efforts and hard work !
About the Ex ---Sounds like a wise conclusion -- don't start off where you left of, especially during the shock phase of a hijacking. But by all means, if it feels right for both of you, start aain a the beginning. Gently, gradually, get to know each other again. He will have been changed by his odeal ; and you have been giving yourself a meaningful makeover. So you're two somewhat different people --- get to know each other now, and see what develops.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zeena | 2003/02/21

Sadeyes, you've come a looong way, baby ... Don't walk that path again. The guy had a shock, and after such a shock, we tend to see life differently -- for a while. For a WHILE. Visit him in hospital or at home, be kind, but that's it. Be just kind.

You've just found yourself again. He's going to get over this shock, and things will be right back where they were ...

It's you life now. Keep it that way.

Reply to Zeena
Posted by: bear | 2003/02/21

Hi Remember Me???

Sadeyes Id say its quiet natural to have been worried when he got hurt considering the feelings that you have\had for him
But I refer you back to the note you posted on my Posting 07/01 and I quote...
"Eventually I realised that he was jsu not worth it. I am still in love with him but I have decided to put me first for a change. You know what it feels good." "Please dont think I am being funny but you need to think about you happiness and emotional well being,"

Soo...is it your well being that you are taking into consideration or his? I am in no position to tell you what to do But ...Be careful, follow you heart and be sure before you do anything!!

He could have changed or the situation could have changed him but then again ...maybe not

Good Luck!!!

Reply to bear
Posted by: nina | 2003/02/21

hi sadeyes

don't go back there !!!
you have come so far and are getting stronger every day.

the ideal will be if you can be "just" friends but i don't hink you are strong enough to handle being close to him yet keeping him at a distance

i feel sorry for him but if he is telling the truth and loves you so much he will yes will be patient with you and give you the space you need with out putting presure on you for more

bestrong girl

nina

Reply to nina

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