Our expert says:
No, you already know that it's not fair to "judge" someone based on what they did when they were 14, but it isn't very sensible to totally ignore that, either. I suspect you're feeling in something of a crisis now because of the pregnancy and the unexpected suddent inrush of responsibilities, re-awakening your earlier doubts and hurts.
It sounds like she was an alarmingly sexually active 14-year-old, which is really sad, including the fact that kids who get sexually active that young, don't spend enough time being a child and benefitting from that.
As with any sexual and emotional relationship --- If she had sex with others before you, that might be a reason for chosing not to have a relationship with her at that time, but you have no basis for feeling personally hurt about whatever she did before she knew you. What she did after you two broke up, similarly, is a basis for taking this into account before deciding to take up with her again, but not for now, having chosen to get back with her, now chosing to feel hurt about what, once again, she did while you were not with her.
If the two of you feel you could and should have a personal continuing relationship, it sounds like seeing a counsellor for relationship counselling could be a very important step. If not, you may need personal counselling, to sort out what sound like some very conflicted and complex feelings about sexuality, relationships, and parenthood, which would be worth sorting out so you can form more stable, wise, and lasting relationships in the future.
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