advertisement
Question
Posted by: Anon this time | 2012/03/01

Dobson and 6 yo son

Dear Prof

I have 2 questions please:
the first is - is it normal for a 6yo when unhappy or angry at his parents (mostly dad) to say ''i do not want to be in this life anymore''? he is quite a sensitive child, and still has primary nocturnal enuresis. We don''t think it is emotional, but it is worse when there has been an altercation in the day.
the second question - what is your opinion of Dr R Dobson''s book " Bringing up boys."  I am reading it and it certainly makes a lot of sense, but it is quite hard hitting...

Many thanks.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its probably more common for an agry and temporarily frustrated kid to shout " I wish you were dead!" or similar sentiments - directed at parents, not at themselves.
As for such suicidal comments, its hard to evaluate them. Depression does occur in kids, and in the younger ages before the concept of permanent death has settled, they may think of being dead, but still being home and available for next week's picnic. Suicide in children does happen, though mercifully it is rare.
Usually there will be a clear demand for attention, and giving sympathetic attention is useful, as well as gently drawing out a fuller explanation of how they feel.
I don't know the book by Dr Dobson, he is not well knwon in medical or psych circles. Purple's caution is wise. I checked on Amazon, and find Dobson is indeed well known in Right-Wing, Christian fundamentalist circles, and, according to respectable reviewers, mean-spirited and anti-feminist, and with a sickly anti-gay bias. Even if one wants a Christian rather than a psychologically informed approach, there are far better and more wholesome books that provide that. Based on the expert reviews I have seen, and quotes I have read, I could not possibly recomment Dobson.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2012/03/01

I''m mom to an 8 year old, and I defniitely found that between about age 4 and 6 that if there was any sort of argument he would say he wanted to die. I would ask him why, and it seems that the feelings all just got too much, and as he had grown out of tantrums, he would cry and say that. He doesn''t do it anymore, but if he gets overwhelmed by feelings and emotions now, he calmly says " I have a life too you know and I need some attention because I''m sad" . (Other times he does do something naughty to get attention, but I was just showing how the attention grabbing statements have evolved over time).

I know there are two authors who write on bringing up boys, the one is very good and the other is a homophobic christian fundamentalist. I can never remember which one is Dobson - the good one or the other one.

Two books I have found very helpful with this age group are " How to Talk so Kids Will LIsten and LIsten so Kids Will Talk"  and " Beyond Toddlerdom" . Both are very sensible and gave me quite some insight into my own reactions to my child. We had another baby recently and although my son adores her, some of the things he worried about were quite unexpected, and these two books helped me get through the rough patches.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/01

Its probably more common for an agry and temporarily frustrated kid to shout " I wish you were dead!" or similar sentiments - directed at parents, not at themselves.
As for such suicidal comments, its hard to evaluate them. Depression does occur in kids, and in the younger ages before the concept of permanent death has settled, they may think of being dead, but still being home and available for next week's picnic. Suicide in children does happen, though mercifully it is rare.
Usually there will be a clear demand for attention, and giving sympathetic attention is useful, as well as gently drawing out a fuller explanation of how they feel.
I don't know the book by Dr Dobson, he is not well knwon in medical or psych circles. Purple's caution is wise. I checked on Amazon, and find Dobson is indeed well known in Right-Wing, Christian fundamentalist circles, and, according to respectable reviewers, mean-spirited and anti-feminist, and with a sickly anti-gay bias. Even if one wants a Christian rather than a psychologically informed approach, there are far better and more wholesome books that provide that. Based on the expert reviews I have seen, and quotes I have read, I could not possibly recomment Dobson.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement