Posted by: Alecia Khan | 2007/05/04

Do you believe in 2nd chances


My husban d and I were ending our marriage. We no stoped the divorce. We want our marriage back. I am frightened other times. When I think why is that so, i think he is not capable of changing, he may take advantage of that i came forward with reconsilation and think I to change not him, he still go bak to the little things that irritated marriage to end, i am afraid that people that help me through the hard times may turn backs on me if he go back to old ways, I cannot trust him 100%, he caanot trust me 100%.

what can you advise? is this a right to do? any steps to take that cant be missed in process of making things right again

your advise is very important to me and i value it too much


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Our expert says:
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If one just hopes that chronic problems will change, one is almost always disappointed. But if the pair of you get sincerely involved in proper marriage counselling, you may be able to achieve something valuable for each of you.
So, try marriage counselling ( eg through FAMSA, number on the phone book ). Either you will both find ways to work things out and have a happier marriage, or at least if you eventually do still decide the end the marriage, you will know that you both tried your best to find a better solution, and you will both have been able to learn how things went wrong so as to be able to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Alecia Khan | 2007/05/05

Thank you RMC.

May your right it wont be easy. at times there are doubts. But it needs commitment from BOTH. I wonder how do we both commit, definitely he is having times when he feels I may be going back the old routes. I sometimes feel the same too. What is worse is the thought that what if this is a wrong decision, what if it is not meant to be, what if he is not sincere, what if what if what if.....

People help me, pray for and with me, guide me give me direction, strength, I love my husband and our three children. I am scared though all the time, that takes away commitment to lesser levels at those times. i wish my husband would read this and be strong for me and committed and be there for me.

Carey do you think I must listen to my gut feel and be scared and run away?

Reply to Alecia Khan
Posted by: RMC | 2007/05/05

Alecia -- as CS says, if you are BOTh committed it can work - it won't be easy and there may be many times you will wonder why? But dont give up

Reply to RMC
Posted by: carey | 2007/05/04

Listen to your gut that feeling you get when you think about it
it wont let you down

Reply to carey
Posted by: Alecia Khan | 2007/05/04

thank you CS. i will raise this with him. i know he is likely to oppose this on basis that our root problem is money debts end so forth. we wont qualify at famsa but will find it challenge to pay for a good marriage counsellor. i shall give this a best shot and at least despite all my husband is open to hear me and we try everything to make things right again. thank you sc

anymore adises people?

Reply to Alecia Khan

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