Posted by: Vanessa | 2009/04/16

do men really feel???

Do men really feel hurt, sad, eina, sore, depressed when there is trouble in the marriage, do they really? Or is it just an ego thing where they dont want to show it like us women do? Please help, my husband just doesnt seem to care if he hurts me, says nasty things to me, all he says is " its over, move on" . DOES HE REALLY REALLY FEEL SOMETHING? I feel so sad all the time and am always trying to win his attention but it just seems like he doesnt give a damn! Anyone out there experiencing this? We are in our mid 30' s. I dont believe in divorce, dont want to go that route. please, any advice will help settle my soul!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Good grief, Vanessa, you BET they do. What you're thinking of is a different distinction. There are people ( men and women ) who CAUSE misery for others and don't seem to notice it ; and others, men and women, who have misery caused to them. Maybe if you stopped trying to get his attention, and simply acted more mysterious and aloof, he might become a bit more interested ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Rick | 2009/04/19

Yes, we do feel serious soul pain. ive experienced divorce and its no joke. ive never felt so crap in life before, but I got over it, moved on and feel great now.

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Posted by: zola | 2009/04/17

but i dont think he really mean that.the thing is my sis was in the same situation last year,i mean almost the whole year. hey,but now they are back on treck.they are luvy duvy.they just came from London just for a week holiday together.GUD LUCK sis.

Reply to zola
Posted by: MM | 2009/04/17

Just accept it when he says its OVER AND MOVE ON. Dont be a clinger. Read the Cosmo of Jan 2009. It deals with the clinging woman who cant let go. If he says its over, its over. Surely u understand what that mean.

Reply to MM
Posted by: P | 2009/04/16

that works for me as well dear it has worked for a friend of mine too when i actually advised her how to get her man' s attention. if he comes up with the lie of going somewhere just say oh dont worry im also meeting a friend of mine in some " fancy resturant"  trust me he will interogate you will forget that ignorant, he will stop it right there,its not manipulative its a white lie, it has worked for mi be very busy in the house do spring cleaning while he' s around he might get a chance perhaps to see his slisy(sorry) he comes back u don ask him carry on being preoccupied then he will wonder, this other time he came back at 3am, i didn say anything he sat me down apologising and all, i said but where u went u were enjoying yourself ne? gud thats why you stayed there the whole night right? it made u happy then why apologising, he said no he was not happy, i told him i am here in your life to make you happy then if that did i will have to maintain it so u stay happy, he stopped and never did again...but somethings work in different relationships. Try not to show him you seeking his attention cos your seem very needy, ask your friend to send you callbacks after 8pm, he will think its an sms from someone. This is only if you still want to stay in a marriage, go for councilling thou, if these don' t work woman you know what to do. he does give a damn if dont look sad anymore...LOL

Reply to P
Posted by: Juice | 2009/04/16

I agree with Jade and the Shrin, its not an older think, and you need to start acting mastariously...I do that with my phone...if my sister calls...I excuse myself and speak privately to her..he doesn' t know it and he thinks its suspicious...that gets his attention alright...also dress-up and go out even on your own..see if he won' t want to join you next time...Good luck

Reply to Juice
Posted by: jade | 2009/04/16

I know what you mean i have the same problem ,and it really hurts I have become being bitter to the world because of this .I dont wnat him to open up and share his feeling I just want him to be considerate of mine.we are 24 so its definately not an older thing.

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