Posted by: dreamer | 2006/04/19

do i tell?

ok. i'm a gay guy and i've been with the love ofmy life for 3 years now. but recently i find myself totally digging his brother! the other night i had a wet dream about the brother and woke up feeling incredibly guilty. don't know if i should tell my bf bout this or should i just keep it to myself?
also there's this lady who works with me and she's been looking mighty fine lately too. what is going on? i feel like i've gone into sex overdrive! but i've never been attracted to women before, so HELP!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Dreamer, welcome to our forum and thanks for your post.

I think Deeve said it very well - having a crush or sexual fixation on someone is quite normal. You love your partner, which is very different. Would you have told your partner if you'd had a wet dream about some hunky actor or George Bush? Sorry I couldn't resist that but the point is that sexual fantasy is normal and there's no need to share all of these with your partner. If your fantasies about your partner's brother disturb you stop yourself from masturbating to them. Our fantasy worlds are dynamic and those that are constructed around an individual invariably fade pretty soon and are replaced by fresh content. So mine is a 'don't tell' vote.

Also, there's nothing wrong or abnormal about your finding a woman attractive or arousing. As we've often stated here, we're all located on a continuum between being totally straight and totally gay. Don't be scared of this, but if you feel inclined to act on your impulses you may have a problem in terms of your current relationship. Until then, chill and enjoy those fantasies (unless they involve George Bush, in which case you may already have a problem).

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Zeeboy | 2006/04/26

I have a very hot younger brother, and I must admit that it freaks me out just a little when my gay friends perv him.... If a bf mentioned he had a crush, it would be just a little bit close to home. I am sure he will be fine hearing about the lady at work.

The rules are the rules: "No brothers, no sisters"

Reply to Zeeboy
Posted by: dreamer | 2006/04/24

Thanx for you advice guys. i guess what's in my dreams stays in my dreams!

Reply to dreamer
Posted by: Deeve | 2006/04/19

Hi There - you seem to have said it yourself - 'the love of my life' - so I guess you really mean that you truely 'love' your partner. The other two are 'crushes', and thats OK, so long as you don't 'buy' the goods! We all have fantasy's, and to me they are fairly private - so no, I wouldn't go opening a can of worms and telling your b/f - he may take this up the wrong way - especially his brother!! About the lady - nothing wrong with appreciating a fine looking number. Keep enjoying the people around you, they are making you feel good about yourself.

Reply to Deeve

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