Posted by: JustMe | 2009/02/26

Do I scare people off?

Hi Doc
I' m a 28 yr old female living in a small town. I' ve always had many friends but over the years all my friends have left town and started lives elsewhere. This was never an issue as I met the man of my dreams and we got married 2 months ago. I am very happy in my marriage and couldn' t have asked for a better man. My problem is just that I find it so hard to make new friends. I am a very friendly person and feel that I would be a fantastic friend to others, if only I' d have a chance to make a friend. It feels like nobody is interested in making new friends in this town. I participate in many sports and am part of sport clubs where I can meet new people, but that just doesn' t seem to help. I go out of my way to befriend people, introduce myself, try to get to know them, with the hope that I would get an invite out or something, but it just never happens. Am I perhaps coming on too strongly? I' m starting to wonder if my desperation to make new friends isn' t perhaps scaring people off? I used to have such a fantastic self esteem, but lately I' ve been wondering why I can' t seem to make friends or get people to like me and this is killing me. Do you perhaps have any suggestions on how to behave around people, perhaps I can try something different, because obviously somewhere along the line I' m doing something wrong. Thanks!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, so far you're not scaring me ! So I wonder where the problem is. Maybe the friendly folks in your town have left for elsewhere, leaving behind the unfriendly ones ? Maybe you are coming on a bit too strongly for the laid-back folks left there. Don' let this wound your self-esteem --- it's their loss.
WLets see what other readers can suggest

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Our users say:
Posted by: Minerva | 2009/02/28

" with the hope that I would get an invite out or something, but it just never happens." 

Why don' t YOU do the inviting? Maybe they are waiting for one!

Perhaps organise a ' fun day'  - if there are kids - or a bring and braai at one of the sports clubs, using a silly excuse, something along the lines of Phuza Thursday. Try organize a fun monthly event?

Reply to Minerva

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